Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Made-Up Idioms I Like To Use

For the record, I actually say these. Feel free to use them. Don't feel free to judge me.That's not cool
  • Mo' [NOUN], mo' problems.

    PERSON: "Gosh darnit! We have so much bloody bread in this bloody beach house!"ME: "I know, man! Mo' bread, mo' problems."
  •  If [EVENT] occurred, it would create a [VAGUELY SCI-FI SOUNDING THING] and tear a hole in the space-[SAME NOUN AS BEFORE] continuum!

    PERSON: "Clint Eastwood is so awesome."ME: "I know, right! If Clint Eastwood cloned himself, and the two clones met, it would create a positive feedback loop and tear a hole in the space-awesomeness continuum!"
  • What the monkey/frankfurter/flying flapjack?

    [A llama jumps out of your cellar]
    ME: "What the monkey* is that llama doing in my cellar!?!"
    *In this case, "frankfurter" or "flying flapjack" could be used in the place of "monkey." Which is used is left to the discretion of the speaker.
  • Don't judge me...

    [PERSON is reading this blog post]
    PERSON: You actually say this stuff?
    ME: Don't judge me...