Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Crispy Chicken Crispers?

During a recent visit to Chili's, I noticed the following two items on their menu: Chicken Crispers, and Crispy Chicken Crispers.

While I love crispy chicken fingers, these choices seem strange. By definition, Chicken Crispers must be crispy. Doesn't this make the idea of Crispy Chicken Crispers redundant? What is the difference between Crispy Chicken Crispers and regular Chicken Crispers (aside from the choice between black pepper gravy, BBQ sauce, honey-mustard, or ranch dressing)?

One would presume that the Crispy Chicken Crispers are crispier than their Chicken Crisper cousins. But if this is the case, how much crispier are the Crispy Chicken Crispers?

I therefore propose the Krisp scale, the SI unit for crispiness. Using the Krisp scale, we can quantify the crispiness of a food relative to other crispy foods. The Krisp scale ranges from 0 to 12, with 12 being the crispiest. Something not crispy at all (like pudding) would have a rating of 0 Krisp. Something extremely crispy (like a really fresh bag of Fritos) would have a rating of 10 to 12 Krisp. Once some baseline standards are established, we can establish a system to quantify crispiness. (Think the Mohs scale of mineral hardness, but without scratching chicken fingers with potato chips.)

Until this system is created, however, we can only ponder at the difference between Chicken Crispers and Crispy Chicken Crispers.


  1. Should have been like the pH scale - pick something of neutral crispiness and then go from there. What would it be?

  2. Dude, you've got WAAAAAY too much free time on your hands...

  3. You can tell from the pictures: the crispy crispers are higher contrast than regular crispers.

  4. Higher contrast only means better picture quality... or different picture quality if you really want low contrast, I guess.

    Either way, since there is no (immediate) need for a way of quantifying crispiness, I think you should put this project on hold.

    At least until you've finished what many other projects you OBVIOUSLY have to be contemplating.

  5. OMG I just went to Chilis and FREAKED out about this. I did not see the chicken crispers, only the trademarked crispy chicken crispers. W. T. F. If they are crispy, we know they're crispers. If they are crispers, we know they're crispy. If the difference is extra crispiness, call them extra crispy crispers. or crispiest crispers. SOMEthing to put the world on notice that there is SOMEthing behind the mindbogglingly unnecessary redundancy.