Monday, June 21, 2010

Cell Phones Are Ridiculous

Wait... How do I even dial with this?

I've already declared the not-awesomeness of the telephone. However, there's a special place in the land of not-awesomeness for cell phones. I like to think I'm good with technology; I run a blog, after all. However, I'm an idiot when it comes to cell phones. Especially the newer ones with crazy features. In my opinion, a good cell phone needs only the following:
  1. A key pad (for dialing numbers). This should have actual buttons.
  2. A contact list (so I don't have to remember the numbers I dial)
  3. A screen (to read the contact list)
  4. Voice mail (though this really isn't necessary)
Those four features are all I need in a phone. However, phone companies and I don't see eye to eye. You can't get a phone nowadays without a camera. This extra feature is unnecessary at best, but it's at least a bit practical, and there's loads of entertainment value. (I've spent many a happy hour stealing friends' cell phones, snapping candid pictures, and making said candid shots my friend's new wallpaper.)

My ability with phones decreases, however, as the number of extras increase. Mobile internet and texting befuddle the heck out of me; touch screens, full QWERTY keyboards, and pop-out buttons are the bane of my cellular existence. Many a time I've tried to borrow a friend's phone to make a call, only to find myself unable to turn the phone on, much less dial a number and make a call. It's really quite sad.

In conclusion: phones are too complicated. Either that, or I'm too old-fashioned.

It's probably a bit of both.


  1. This was awesome. But internet on a phone is handy.

  2. This is AMAZING/HILARIOUS! And that's my phone you have in that picture there, so that's saying something xD

    I don't exactly agree with you, so I guess I'm the consumer those cellular companies are targeting haha. A phone should be good for calling, definitely, but I really like how mine can do a gazillion other things when I'm bored. And tell me where I need to be & when I need to be there, let me make note of any epiphanies, inform me of the weather where ever I may be, record random song ideas I have, etc. That's it, Tim. You're too smart for a smartphone! But I really need mine for appointments, the dictionary, and the likes.

    And btw, Jeff took over your job of the candid-picture-background-ing when I fell asleep at a birthday gathering (AFTER TAKING BENADRYL, again!) on Sunday. Don't worry, parents were supervising and I was safe (I just realized how falling asleep at any gathering that's not with our group of friends could be potentially dangerous).

    I'm going to leave now before this turns from a comment into a badly written blog post of its own. Bye! :)